wonderings of a wandering mind

Sunday, March 05, 2006

“Man I am sleepy today. I hate the project, I hate my job. Can anyone pull me out of this boredom!?” whined Iyengar as we were sitting at the canteen discussing the current prospects and our careers. The topic of discussion instantaneously shifted to the contempt towards the corporate world. It seemed like the youth are generally dissatisfied. May be it has been this way for years now. Just like for my parents, the favorite topic of discussion is religion or caste, it is job dissatisfaction for us.
‘Dude, you are going to be a PA in the next few days. What are you cribbing about?” said Shetty. Shetty was one of the few people with whom everything had gone his way. He was satisfied with what he had achieved in his young age of 26. His parents were poor and he had never seen more than a couple of thousand rupees in his account till recently when he returned from onsite. A few months of onsite pushed them from lower middle class to the middle class group. We all appreciated how he felt, except Kumar.
“Dude, you are satisfied with what you have achieved? You have achieved nothing.” Retorted Kumar. He was the epitome of dissatisfaction. The only question on his mind was – What am I doing here? But he never had an answer to – what else could I be doing? This left him irritated all the time.
“I got to go to Onsite within 2 years of joining the company. I became a PA in 2 years.” Said Shetty with pride.
“Dude, you have only picked up what came your way. Just like the rest of us. You did not have any say in what you wanted and what you disliked. You are satisfied because you have enough money? Wait for a few years. You will see more money and then money will not matter to you.”
Shetty did not understand what Kumar meant, but all of us did, and concurred with Kumar up to an extent.
This was a daily discussion and no one took things seriously. This half an hour of tea break was dedicated to ogling at the pretty girls who passed by and thinking about what else we could do than our mundane jobs. Everyone, except Rahul on our group was single. Rahul was recently engaged. He had no opinion about, nor did he have complaints about how things were going for him. He lived in a shell with his girlfriend, shielding himself from all the worries of the world. Everyone envied him for the calm and satisfied nature of his.

It was a Monday morning blues. Everyone in the group felt low and knew about the long week ahead of them. It took us a day to get accustomed to the fact that we will be going back home not before 10 in the night for the next five days, probably 6.

We all assembled at the canteen as usual. Rahul had a fight with his girlfriend the previous day. His face told the story, yet people asked.
“Rahul, what’s up man? Did Anjana ditch you?” and Iyengar had his share of laugh. He did not particularly care about how people felt. Everything was okay among friends- was his policy.
“Ae Iyengar, try and understand man. Not everyday is the same. Measure the mood of a person from his face” Shetty said.
“Come on Shetty. There is nothing in the world you can’t laugh about. Laughing makes you feel better”. Iyengar had a point. But having not been in a relationship, he could not make a comment. Then again, his comment was not about having been through a breakup.
“No da Iyengar. I had done nothing wrong. Yesterday I felt everything was going as I wished. Things felt good and blissful. Suddenly, I don’t know what happened...” Rahul was almost in tears.
“Look man, I am sorry. But what happened?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. She came to me yesterday and said she wanted to break off. She dint even find it necessary to give an explanation”
“Did she get to know about you smoking mentholated cigarettes and your decreased potency?” Iyengar burst out laughing. The joke was untimely, but everyone else smiled. Rahul could not help but have a grin on his face.
“Chill man. There is nothing in the world that should be able to make you cry. Things happen if they have to. And if not her, there would be someone else”. Iyengar was trying to console him.
“No guys, you would not understand. I cant get into a relationship again. I feel all girls are alike”
“Then how does it matter whom you marry?”, Iyengar knew that he had cracked a killer again. Everyone laughed.
Iyengar knew that he had to be really serious now.
“Dude, I am not too experienced in this field, but..” Started Iyengar when shetty interrupted.
“Ae, Iyengar, you know zero about love man! Your hands sweat when you see a girl, let alone talk to her. How would you know?”
“Shut up. Its not a joke!” He again turned to Rahul. “Dude, I am not experienced in this field, but I can tell you this - If something makes you cry, it is probably not worth it, or is so precious that you can die before you let go of it. I am sure, Anjana is precious to you. As far as I know her, she is a nice girl. She would have a reason behind doing this. If you think she has cheated you, then may be you are right. May be not. But by believing that she has cheated you, you are not giving any chance of getting back. Use your head dude, take mine if you don’t have one. Just leave things as is. Wait for a month. Let her get her mind cleared. If she comes back, I shall give you a party. Otherwise, she is still your girlfriend. The only change in the story is - you are no more her boyfriend.”
“But she expects me to be her friend all her life.”
“So be one. For you it matters much more to be with her than what she feels about you. You know what you feel about her. And that is all is important. She be what she wants to be. And you should be what you want to be. If you understand this, maybe your life will be less complicated. Its one girl man. If not her, rest of them are the second best. You should settle for the best and love the best all your life. Never settle for the second best. Settling for the second best might only be pushing you deeper into the sea of guilt.”
No one knew what was wrong with Iyengar. But he was proving to be with wisdom of a sage. Everything he said made perfect sense. Rahul had stopped crying. He could see the truth behind what Iyengar said. Shetty was not thinking about his success story in the company. Kumar no more thought about the disgusting job that he had. There was perfect silence all around. It seemed like the world had stopped to contemplate about the wisdom imparted.

“Aye, Rahul, what’s going on in your mind da. You seem to be totally lost in thought today?” De was sitting in front of me.

I suddenly woke up and frantically looked around. There was no Shetty, Iyengar or Kumar. It was just me and De. I was a little embarrassed.
“Was talking to myself” I said.
Both of us walked back to work. There were 5 long days ahead of us.